whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
