I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I wish i was in the wii world.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
