it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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