I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
