Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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