That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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