remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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