her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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