I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
