this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I skipped work to stalk him.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
