My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
