I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
