brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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