the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
