Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
