omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
