her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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