This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
