Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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