i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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