I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
