do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
