So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
