Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
