I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You made out with two different species that night
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm sobbing to NWA
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize