dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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