Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
