he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
