Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.

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(757): View more from Virginia

If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...

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(708): View more from Illinois

I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza

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(740): View more from Ohio

So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?

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(703): View more from Virginia

This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy

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(727): View more from Florida

Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.

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