She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
