It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
