he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
