I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
