The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
