all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
