So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
