hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
