Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
