Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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