Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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