how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
