I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
