i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
