I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
