They should really pass out barf bags in church
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
