I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
