That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
