Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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