Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
