Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
